Creative Burnout!!

Today was day two of being "officially but unofficially" back at work. We are required to be there but there are no children until next week. (Thank goodness..) This week has already been much different than this same time last year. Last year I was just starting to work in a new district, didn't know the teacher I was reporting to work for or really anyone else I was going to be working with. What a difference a year can make!!

This year was different for a lot of the same reasons but in a different kind of way.. Are you as lost as I am ?? What I mean is that although there are some things that are similar about this year and last.. new school (again!!), new co-workers (ditto!!) not knowing really any of the kids, this year is different in that I know at least the teacher I work for (Caroline is awesome!!) and the other aide Tawyna so that is a relief.

The most significant thing that is different this year is that my creative side was discovered over the past school year by my co-workers and I am getting the opportunity to use it. Caroline is great about giving me creative license on pretty much doing whatever I want in the classroom. This is a good thing but for me can be physically and creatively draining. I am such a perfectionist when it comes to putting things together "just so.." I fuss and then fuss some more... stand back .. observe...contemplate... and then fuss some more.... This absolutely wears me out... Don't get me wrong... I LOVE IT!! but beginning a new year can be a very daunting task for the creative minded individual . I liken it to a writer that ponders everything, writes down a few lines then amazingly comes down with Writers Block... Being creative can be kind of like that..

I often have an idea... can envision it, almost feel what it will look like when it is finished but then comes all the fussing which eventually turns to CREATIVE BURNOUT!!! That was what it was like for me today. I wanted a unique space for our classroom reading area so I decided to create a cave overhang with a waterfall coming over the top. Sounds easy enough right? Wrong!! Being vertically challenged was well a challenge... I had a hard time getting my waterfall the right height proportionately so I did what all creative people do... fuss, fix, and fussed with it some more until I finally just "caved in to the fact that it will for now, be less than perfect". Did you hear the gasps? I know.... I can't even believe it either. Tommorow is a new day though..

I hate to think that the wonderful gift that God gave me to be creative at times causes me so much stress. In retrospect... God didn't create us as perfect individuals.. I sure am glad that he doesn't stress over all my little (and big) inperfections... But... as I see the way that He has had His hand on my life... changing me... strengthening me... completing me.... I can't help but wonder if God is a "fusser" too. I sure am glad that God doesn't get creative burnout but delights in His creations.

Isaiah 64:8 "Yet O Lord , you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand."